Not long ago, my boyfriend called me. I thought he didn’t feel guilty about what he has done to me. Yeah, he really is careless. And here I am, hoping and expecting things again. So, back to the point, our conversation on the phone. It’s about how he motivated me to do my thesis, and to quit fooling around in the internet. He has no freaking idea how much the cyber means to me. After these years, he still didn’t get it and I am really hopeless. But I have to holding on, right? Just like what I’ve wrote down.
My real life is really scary. Not only mine, I think, everyone’s. But it depends on the people who saw it. But really, mine, is so scary. I don’t want to live here, this world that God created for everyone. I am afraid. Waking up all night, unable to sleep because all I can think about is all the things I have to do, and all the things I’ve done wrong is going to lead to an exhausting years. The feeling of being miserable, pathetic, scared and genuinely frightened hit me. I panicked and I almost cried I was so afraid for unknown reason. I got tired of crying, making every single people happy. Comforting my mom about things that happened between her and old man, putting a fake smile to everyone. Ugh. I am tired. Don’t expect me to be kind and loving everytime, please. I just don’t want to live with problems and troubles, which is nowhere we’ll find.
That’s why, I move to cyberspace. Social networking services nowadays are really great! Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, Bebo, Hi5, LinkedIn, Pinterest, and many more! But Of course I prefer Twitter and Tumblr more than anything. They’re really easy to use and so much fun. I keep retweeting and rebloging things that related to me, from any mini blog I follow. Those two are exactly my heaven. I can write things without facing other people, that’s the best. And I don’t really care about things that they might think of me. I can express my feelings without caring what other people might think. And…. I repeated my lines -__- The point is, I am more comfortable in the cyberspace than have to meet people in real life. The cyberspace keeps me sane :’)
It’s damp and cold outside and I want to curl up with both my cats and hot chocolate and a book. So, happy reading.
-A-
Lost in Adeline's 