“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Hugging you.” He answers calmly. My heart really wants to burst out.
“I know. Why?” I asked again.
“Because I think you’d go away.” My heart beat is rising, I could tell by the sound.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t want you to go.” He said again, still not releasing his hug.
“Why?” I keep asking him for a reason. For a good reason I could stay.
“Because I need you.”
“No you don’t, Harry.” I denied him.
“I do. I am perfectly sure I do. What would I do when you’re gone?”
“Teaching.” I answer coldly. He lets a sigh and then releasing his hug. He looks at me right in the eyes. His eyes, were so captivating and calming.
“I care about you, Chloe.” He said. I look away, I can’t bear looking at his eyes.
“I know.” I sort of whisper. “And I do care about you, too, Harry.” I continue.
“Then, wouldn’t we be perfect together?” He said. Again, my heart stutters. How come he easily said that? He is still locking his eyes on me.
“We can’t Harry.”
“Give me reason.”
“Then, I am not accepting that, C.” He said. This time, I am the one who lets a sigh. I couldn’t control my heart.
“The same reason I called you by your middle name. As Liam Stewart said, I look at you and I just love you, and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what would I do for you. And that’s exactly what I think of. I fall for you, Neil. I fall too deep. And you perfectly aware of that.” I explained it to him. I call him by his first name again after a long time. My heart really beats as fast as it could. I thought it would jump out of my body. I take a look at him, he just sits there, in front of me, in the health room bed, nothing to say.
“You, are not in love with me, Neil. It’s her, you’re in love with. You can’t deny that. Last year, when Alex and I were making the bonding bracelet, you were there, too. Yet, you didn’t stop us. This relationship of us, I don’t know if we can consider this as one to be honest, won’t work. I can’t compete her. You can’t forget her. And I really hate myself for letting you in, letting you consume me. That.. is why, Neil. That’s my reason.” I clearly let everything slips out of my mouth. My eyes are s hot, I don’t know if I could hold the tears for another minutes. The health room is too quiet, and he didn’t even say a word. I step off of the bed, my head was spinning, my breathing was heavy, and my heart was in so much pain. I didn’t plan to say those things out loud. I never did. I walk to the door, and before I close it, I see him. Our eyes met again, finally. He didn’t give me the smile he used to give me. I smile and close the door. That time, a tear rolls down to my face. I was hoping he would catch me and said everything I just said wasn’t true. But I know, I know I am right. All of it. I wish he’d hold me close and say sorry, but, sorry for what? I walk to the rooftop. I wish I could just disappear.
That was, a story I’ve been writing. A cheesy one.
So, me. And no, it hasn’t finished yet. So, me.