We kissed. It was the amazing thing that happened to me. I know I may sound so silly, but I don’t care. She kissed me again, she pressed her pink plump lips to mine, chapped and taste boring, I assume. She tastes so sweet. After a while she’s giggling.
“What?” I asked her. She shakes her head and keeps giggle.
“Abby, what?” I asked curiously.
“No, I just realize that you really are an amateur, Luke. You should put your hands around me, when I kissed you for the second time. And do something… Not just stand plainly like that.” She finally said the reason she giggles.
“Fuck. Whatever.” I said. I know I am an amateur. I’ve never kissed a girl. I don’t even know how to talk to girls. I am really bad blending my self to girls. But Abby is different. She lives besides my house. She’s the only girl I could talk to. I could be the way I am with her. I don’t have to pretend to like what girls talk or what.
“Oooh, sorry, Luke.” She leans her head to my shoulder. I know I shouldn’t be this happy, because it will only last a day. But, I can’t help it.
“Luke, don’t mad.” she said again, poking my cheeks. I stare at the house in front of me. Seems like someone is watching us.
“Lucas, for God sake.” she moves my face to see her. I met her hazel eyes, looking at me, deep. I never had a chance to see her this close and this deep, except that night on five grade. Not one bad thing I could point it out from her. She is always be my girl, my dream girl, she has stolen my heart years ago. But I know, I’ve never been in her eyes once.
“Abigail.” I said her name. She looks at me confused.
“Is it too much to ask if I want another day with you?” I asked.
“Yes.” she said it short. I touch her hand that was hold my head, put it down, and hold it tightly. I never hold a girl’s hand, I never even be able to sit a girl with this close space and staring at each other eyes.
“So, it will gone? You will never look back at me again?” I asked her again.
“I will miss you, Luke. I will miss this day.” she answered, while her hazel eyes are stop looking at me.
“No, you won’t.” I said. Her eyebrows are furred, looking at me.
“You don’t know anything, Lucas. Don’t act like you know the future.” she said angry.
“I know. I don’t know nothing about the future. But I know one thing for sure, you won’t miss me or this entire day. I know you well enough, Abigail. I know how eager you want to leave this town. How often you check your mail boxes a day, a week, to look for the applicant letters for college. How excited you are when it finally comes, and you try so hard not to. And, I know how you never look at me. Not the look when you look at Eli. ” there, I said it. Abby looks at me with a sad face. My heart throbs, it hurts. I want to puke. Abby stands from her seat then walk away. I want to stop her, I want to pull her hand, I want to hug her. I don’t want her leave me. I want her stay besides me. Forever. She keeps walking until she’s almost on the road, I said,
“Abigail Sellene Harris, I always love you!”
I could taste a mint candy from his mouth. It’s refreshing. I saw him close his eyes, put his hand in the air, and there’s the awkward gap between us. Oh, how cute he is. I would never found a guy like this, again. I’m giggling non stop and made him mad. I said sorry but he wouldn’t listen to me. I lean my head on his shoulder, looking at the house in front of me. I saw a shadow in front of the window. I see him. I know he’s there. I look at Lucas, he’s staring at his house. I move his head quickly so that he only could see me. I stare into his face. This guy, I’ve been known for almost the rest of my life. This guy, always care for me, whatever I did to hurt him or recklessly hurt my self, he will always be there, in his bedroom window, asking if I was okay. This guy, is the only best friend I have. This guy, would die on me, I know it sounds so self center, but I know, he would take the bullet for me. This guy, put his heart on me. And that’s why I couldn’t hurt him no more.
He called my name. My full first name. He knows it so well that I really hate being called by my full first name.
“Is it too much to ask if I want another day with you?” he asked. It seems like an arrow just been released and stuck in my heart. I will die instantly. I said yes, and he’s hurting more than anything. He put my hand on his hands, hold it tightly. I could hear my heart beat gets louder and louder. I said that I would miss him and this day. But then again, he exhales and told me something teary. Something about me. Something that I know for sure I would be hard to let him go. Something that would make my heart explode. Something that would make me swing my direction. Something that would make the thing I’ve been buried for years, pops out. While he told me those things, my heart is near from exploding. I should leave, said my mind. I walk away from him, I want to go to my room, that’s what my mind said. But my heart said I should stop and go back to him. When I finally reach his mailbox, he said something that make my heart explodes. Something that the thing I’ve been buried, pops out. “Abigail Sellene Harris, I always love you!” there, he said it. My eyes are getting hard to look, but I’m perfectly sure, Eli is still watching us, in front of his house, with a hand full of trash.
I could see both of them kissing on Lucas’ house, in the veranda. The space between my home and Lucas is not that far, and I’m perfectly sure it’s them, Lucas and Abby. I could see her blonde hair, which was so shiny. I wanted to go there badly, but I know, I can’t. I clench my fist, and the beer bottle in my right hand is almost fly over to them. His veranda is so bright, I bet, everybody on the house around also can see them making out. Why am I so mad? I know how close they are since we’re kids. I know them well. But she is mine. Abby is mine. Abby always follows me around since she’s just a kid. Abby likes me better than Lucas. Abby loves me. Not him. I drink my beer until it got nothing on the bottle. I could hear Abby’s giggling. Her perfect smile. I closed my curtain and walk to the kitchen. I open the fridge and took another bottle out.
“Honey, you should stop.” someone admonish me. I turn my body around just to see my wife on the corner.
“Just this one. Then I’m going to bed.” I said.
“You’re so implacable.” she said and then go to the trash can.
“Ah, leave it there. I will take it out.” I stop her from taking the trash out.
“Eli, I’m okay. You should stop forbid me doing household things.” she defenses.
“Baby, you got another human in your body. I couldn’t stand you doing those things.” I hug her and stroke the bump on her stomach.
“I’m pregnant, not dying.” she said with a smile and then kiss me. I suddenly remember the two of them outside my house. I hate it.
“Go have some rest. I’ll catch up with you after drink this one, and take the trash out.” I said. She gives me a smile and kiss me again. I kiss her on the forehead and look at her back. I take my beer and see them again on the window. I could see Abby strokes at his face and see him gently. I drink my beer again, this time, I’m not taking a pause. I see them taking about something. I hate doing this. I can’t hear them. I want to know what the hell is they’re talking about. I want to make sure that the kiss is not because she finally forgets me. I walk away from the window, I put my beer bottle on the box and then take the trash out. I opened the side door, so that they couldn’t hear me. I could see they’re having a fight then Abby is walking away from him. I almost run over to the dumpster on the road, just to hear Lucas screaming the words he always hesitates to say, the Love words. I stop my move. I could see Abby is stopping her step too. I could see her eyes that full of tears, thanks to the dim light from the street lamp. I could see her looking at me, with a tears. Makes me remembered the day we parted. The day I found out Brianna is pregnant with my child. The day I stopped seeing Abby.