When I step on my foot outside the school, I see you and the Barbie. Grinning mouth to mouth, side by side. Then you turn your head towards me. Your green eyes meet my grey eyes. You don’t blink. I wave goodbye then walk to the school bus. You step on your brake, watching my back. I put on my headset and sit in the back. I can see you get yelled by the Barbie. You know, I never yelled at you, not even a bit. I shuffle my iPod and then close my eyes. I am tired.
I open my eyes when my bus get so noisy. Some popular guy in the football team are making fun a nerd. Usual thing happens. Not my business of course. I get ready to jump off of the bus when I saw my stop. The bus stop, and I stand, walk towards them.
“Bye, freak.” Whisper a guy, with giggles from the other.
I stop my move then turn my head to them. Bunch of useless people.
“I may be freak, but I am not assholes like you all. Useless football men.” I say and raise my middle finger for them. I step off the bus and walk to my home. I can hear them swearing at me. Noisy. What a tiring day, I whisper. Then I heard your motorcycle from far. My bus is already gone, you really know the perfect timing, eh? I wait for you, and you park you motorcycle in front of me. You take off your helmet and now I can see your green eyes. You really are handsome. We kept remaining in silent until I decided to talk.
“Wanna come?” I ask.
You still sit in your motorcycle, and then you pull my hand. I don’t intend to pull it away, too, to be honest.
“I am sorry.” That’s your first line that come out of your cute lips. I don’t know if you remembered, but that was your first line too, back then when you accidentally hit me. I remembered, because you’re the first one whom ever said sorry to me. At school, especially.
“For what?” I pretend. I might be an artist one day if I keep this act.
“Things at school.” You answer bluntly.
“I don’t care. You’re the one who said nobody can know about this.” I say coldly.
You just keep silent whilst hold my hand dearly. Your green eyes see my arm, you touch it. I try so hard not to growl loudly, but still you see my face.
“You’re hurting again. I am sorry.” You say softly, more like a whisper.
I pull out my hand.
“Don’t be.” I answer coldly.
“I want to go in. If you want, you may come.” I say and then leave you alone in the garage. Before I enter my house, I see you pull your cigarette on your pocket. You light it, and then you suck it so deep. I close my door, and walk to the kitchen. I take a glass and fill it with water. I drink it, feeling much better. My heart beats so fast the time you said sorry. And that’s not good. I already knew, I fell for you. That’s dangerous. I hear a door clicking. I assume it’s you. You make yourself home, you sit on the couch. I open my fridge, looking for a beer. I take one and give it to you. You take the beer with one hand, then you drink it. Then, you pat the couch, want me to sit besides you. Like a dog, I do what you ask. You put your beer in the coffee table, and then you put your head in my lap. I can smell my favorite taste, mint cigarette.
“Wake me up in five minutes, alright?” You say before you close your eyes. While me, seeing you rest, my heart is racing. Ah, I don’t want this feeling.
Your phone is ringing. I take a look at the name of the caller, Jacob, your band mate. Seems like this time, you really have band practice. I intend to decline it, but you don’t belong to me. I shake your body, you still don’t wake up. I touch your head carelessly, hoping you would open your eyes. But still, you sleep and sound. I kiss your cute lips, I taste my favorite flavor. You open your eyes, and then smile at me.
“Sleeping beauty, your phone is ringing.” I say, trying to avoid your green eyes.
“I heard.” You answer and give me acute little grin.
“You do it on purpose?” I question you, acting mad, even though I am happy.
“If no, you wouldn’t kiss me, right?” You answer and then move your body to sit.
I just keep silent. I know I will lose to you. Because now, my heart gets involved. You sent a text to Jacob, I supposed, then you stand up, ready to go. You look at me in the eyes, my grey eyes avoid your green eyes, I am afraid that I will fall deep for you.
“Don’t mad, Zo.” Says you.
I move my head up, and stand, to see you off.
“What for?” I reply.
You come closer, and hug me. Tight. I like being hugged by you, it’s calming. But suddenly, I remembered the Barbie. And I really want to puke. I shove you away, and sit down, calm my self.
“Zo? Are you okay?” You ask a bit worried.
“Fine. Just, go.” I answer.
I know, I want you more. But I know, you’re not good for my health. Mental health, especially.
“Zo, look at me in the eyes and say you’re okay.” You insist and sit back, next to me.
I gather all my courage and tell my heart to calm down. I see your green eyes. It’s so beautiful, like zamrud.
“I’m fine.” I say it.
Then you kiss me, softly. I tasted the mint cigarette again. You are wicked. No, I am an idiot. Total fool.
“Bye, Zo.” You say after you finish kissing me, selfish.
I give you a smile when you close my door. I see your beer bottle and take it. I drink the half, it’s like I kiss you again. But with hotness in my throat. I don’t want to be obsessed by you. I hate it. I really hate it.
(To be continued)