So long, Zaenal Fanani

At six pm, I just got a phone call from my mother and in the same time my best friend, Rhendy, message me, telling the same thing just like my mother said. Zaenal has passed away. I didn’t know how to react so I kept silent for like a minute or two. Then I hung up on my mother. I called my boyfriend, and in a first minute I don’t know how to say that our beloved best friend has passed away. I pulled myself together and then told him the news. I knew it was so hard and a lot to take, then when we done talking, I stared at my laptop for a long time. While there’s the series I was watched keep on. Then suddenly I burst into tears, sobbing non-stop. Can’t believe he has gone. Our best friend ever. Our clown school, our sweetheart guy, our cheerful guy, our funniest guy ever, the one who always make sure to keep our smile in its place.

I remembered meeting him on May. He was in the military hospital, looking not so good, with hoses all over his body. There was no abs left on his body, no pumped out bare chest anymore, no more six-pack in his stomach. No more well-built Zaenal’s body. He was so skinny, so fragile, his ribs were out, and his stomach was so large, like pregnant women. And there are so many hoses all over his body. But he managed to kept smile at me and my mother, like usual, welcoming us, warmly. When my mother asked him “does it hurt?”, he said “of course no, maam. I am though, remember?”. Then my tears run down like rain. That’s the one thing I didn’t want him to see, because I knew he’ll be so sad, too. I should be the one who cheering him up, but rather he was the one who cheers me up. He said he’ll be okay when he got back home. He said that in hospital he felt so sick and tired and bored and couldn’t eat. So he asked the doctor to let him go back to home, where he felt comfortable. After meeting him that day, I kept crying on my way home, I couldn’t stop. And now I know why. Because that was the last time I will see you. The last time you make me laugh. The last time we hold hands together. The last time, you said, “thank you for everything.” And the last time you said, “forgive my mistakes to you.”

Hey, Zae, you said you’ll be okay once you got home, right? So, are you home already? You mean home is with God, back then? You are the strongest man I’ve ever known. You know that everyone who knows you are really really really really loves you, right? Why do you leave us so fast? I hate the fact that it might be God loves you more so God didn’t want to see you suffer more, hm? We will miss you. We definitely do. Be happy up there, man. You are one finest geologist and best friend I’ve ever known. I hope you got nothing in your way to back to God. I love you. We love you. See you, next time, it might be in heaven :’) be happy, Zae. Be extremely happy, up there!

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One thought on “So long, Zaenal Fanani

  1. Thank’s for the posting. I’m his brother, cousin. He always be in our heart, and let his spirit about life became our part of life..

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