Are You Happy?

“are you happy?” or “are you okay?” are such difficult questions. I always say yes, because I think I have friends, you may say. I laugh at jokes, I go out a lot and have some fun. My life isn’t as bad as it could be. (wait. stop here. is it? IS IT? Because I think I have some freaking issues and I am freaking mentally ill, and yeah. It still could be worse, right?)

But then, at night at 1 AM when I am alone and still awake, lying in bed, my mind do its specialty, over thinking things. I am thinking about my freaking life. Then I find myself crying my heart out suddenly. I convince that nobody, NOBODY likes me, or nobody will ever like me. I feel so freaking upset and depressed, and want to puke and I question every single thing I had.

And now I don’t know if I was ever happy or okay at all.

(sigh)

So, are you happy?

 

-A-

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