Happy (belated) World Book Day!


World Book Day is a celebration! It’s a celebration of authors, illustrators, books and (most importantly) it’s a celebration of reading. In fact, it’s the biggest celebration of its kind, designated by UNESCO as a worldwide celebration of books and reading, and marked in over 100 countries all over the world.  The main aim of World Book Day in the UK and Ireland is to encourage children to explore the pleasures of books and reading by providing them with the opportunity to have a book of their own.

It’s all about getting kids closer to the books and authors they already love, and letting them discover more books and authors they’ll love every bit as much in the future.

source : www.worldbookday.com

Oh, this is my one hell of topic! YAY!

I personally want to thank to the author I’ve idolized since I was in 6th grade, Joanne Kathleen Rowling. Thank you, for making my side world so wonderful with your magic all over your books. Then, I want to thank John Green for making such an amazing books that completely drown me to the characters, remember when Alaska was just a state and Hazel was just a colour? Yeah right. Next is Jay Asher, thank you for making my (and some other depressed and suicidal people) story. Thank you so much, you are, once again I will say (I don’t care whether it’s exist or no), such a wonderful words-player and I am a big fan. Then, thank you for all mangaka in Japanese, I adore your works, and I can’t live and being so hopelessly romantic like this without your works.  Next is Tetsuko Kuroyanagi or Totto-chan, thank you for your brilliant stories, it made me love Japan even more! Then Jeff Kinney, thank you for your “Diary of Wimpy Kids” series, really, all of them make me laugh more than ever. Special thanks to Robert Lawrence Stine, you know, even after all this time, I am still afraid of monsters under my bed, inside my cupboard, afraid of the worms in the ground every hell of a night will be so big and eat me, afraid of the dolls, the fishes in the tank, YES, really, Mr. Stine, you make my childhood feels like Goosebumps, but I still adore you, so thank you. And, don’t forget about this author, Haruki Murakami, thank you, even for just an ordinary person who runs a jazz club, sir, with all my respect, you are freaking brilliant. You points loneliness and sadness just right, sir. Hontouni, arigatou gozaimashita. Next, thank you for all Indonesian authors, you all rock, you all deserves the best thank you too, without you all, Indonesia will got nothing in books, so, keep it rock and roll.

My final thank you will be The Almighty God I have (and you all believe), thank you Lord, despite all the problems I had and depression I struggle, You make me love books. So thank you for the freaking life You give me.

Happy World Book Day, keep reading!



Even After all …

Even After all this time, The Sun never says to The Earth, “You owe me.”
Look what happens with a love like that.
It lights the whole sky.
– Anonymus

Happy (belated) Earth Day!

Are You Happy?

“are you happy?” or “are you okay?” are such difficult questions. I always say yes, because I think I have friends, you may say. I laugh at jokes, I go out a lot and have some fun. My life isn’t as bad as it could be. (wait. stop here. is it? IS IT? Because I think I have some freaking issues and I am freaking mentally ill, and yeah. It still could be worse, right?)

But then, at night at 1 AM when I am alone and still awake, lying in bed, my mind do its specialty, over thinking things. I am thinking about my freaking life. Then I find myself crying my heart out suddenly. I convince that nobody, NOBODY likes me, or nobody will ever like me. I feel so freaking upset and depressed, and want to puke and I question every single thing I had.

And now I don’t know if I was ever happy or okay at all.


So, are you happy?



Thirteen Reasons Why

Call me out of date or whatever, but I just read Thirteen Reasons Why, by Jay Asher. And you know, it like I was sucked by the book to never stop reading. It is hard, because when I was hungry, I would say “wait, two more pages” and end up until ten pages and I am not hungry anymore. Then when I was sleepy, I would say “five more minutes” and then I end up an hour so. This was no good. Because I couldn’t do anything which were important, I guess. (But, what are more important than reading books?) And the feeling I felt, it was years ago. The first time reading Harry Potter’s series. This book is seriously intense, and killing me, and make me curious at the same time. Jay Asher is a great story-teller, no wait, he is an amazing writer and amazing words-player (Is it really exist? The word I wrote? Ah. To hell with that).

I, honestly, just like Clay Jensen, when I heard the first cassette from the first time, I thought that everyone around me were heard that too. I am being cautious. Then I realize, I was being so freaking stupid. There would be no way people would hear it too, it was freaking written! Then I continued, got shocked, like something hit me in my chest. Something heavy. How Hannah Baker’s words, mostly like my words. No. How Hannah Baker really felt, how Hannah Baker is really just like me, depressed and suicidal. The only differences are 1. I am still alive and 2. the situation (but it pretty much told a bit side of my story too, actually). Especially when the book is going to the end. Where Hannah met Mr. Porter for the first time in his house, and trying so hard to opened up. That moment…. I was extremely be both, Clay and Hannah. Like I, myself, talk to Mr. Porter, and also, I, myself, scream at him, telling what to do, not……letting her go.

Oh Lord, thank you, for letting me alive until I read all of the amazing books I’ve only saw in Tumblr, really, thank you. So that when I die one day, I would regret nothing. And, by the way Jay Asher, you become my second new favorite 😉



This time is hard.
It is not the same.
You are far.
far enough to make me worried.
Not because I don’t trust you.
It’s because I don’t want to lose you.

This time is hard.
It is not the same.
You went abroad.
You got no signals.
You are in the middle of the sea.
I am worried.
Worried enough to make me
go back to my old habit.
And I hate myself for it.
Being insecure.

This time is hard.
It is not the same.
You couldn’t come
when I told you I need you.
You couldn’t hug me
when I told you I am upset.
This time is hard.
It is not the same.
I hope you’re fine.

(out of the blue, writing a weird poem)

New Muse

“For me, a good book is a book that click my brain to write again, as soon as possible” – Bernard Batubara (@benzbara_)

(And I extremely agree with that.)

I always think that I read books because I like them. Yes, I do like them. A lot, you may say. but with all these John Green’s books, I think I am in love with one by one characters there. I don’t know how to explain it, but Oh The Almighty God, I am really thankful for making John Green alive (and please, please, please, make him healthy all the time so that he will always find happiness in his life and so that I could enjoy all of his stunning works. Aamiin.)

(Am I exaggerating too much? No?)

I  think that Hazel Grace (in The Fault in Our Stars) is really just like me, (not the physical appearance, of course), her mind. John Green described her really well in that book, so that I could relate so much things in my life just like hers. Especially her curiosity and sarcasm and different things she liked than others. Then I read Looking for Alaska. Alaska Young. “The gorgeous, clever , funny, sexy, self-destructive, screw-up, and utterly fascinating”, describe John Green. I only relate two of those words, self-destructive and screw-up. I am in love with Alaska Young because she is full of mysteries, and moody. Just like Takumi said in the book, “People are moody, dude. You gotta get used to living with people.”. (And I don’t know what to write about because out of the blue, my old man called me, then POOF. Gone. What I want to write. And it is suck.)

Oh. After reading Looking for Alaska, I suddenly feel like grieving. I still have some mysteries to figure out, yet, POOF. Gone. And I don’t feel like telling people about this book. You know, just like Hazel Grace in The Fault in Our Stars loves An Imperial Affliction by Peter Van Houten. The exclusiveness that belongs to me will go, the feeling I have will go, and the mysteries and questions I want to solve by myself will be shared with other people, and somehow, I don’t feel like sharing. I don’t want other people know this freaking stunning book, ever. (Too late to say that, I realized.)

John Green never fail to pleased me. And I am looking forward to read Paper Towns and Abundance of Katherine. (Yeah, I couldn’t afford to buy the fourth of his works in one time, sadly)

The thing is John Green (if you ever read this blog), you are my new muse, my new J.K. Rowling from America. And today, I am extremely glad that I am still alive (never feel this way before), to read your books. Thank you.