Promise

cuddle

We were lying on the park, watching the cloud moves, watching the birds fly, feeling the wind in our face, hearing the wind and the water met in the lake, it’s peaceful. You were there, beside me, holding my hand and closing your eyes, feel the moment.

“I love you. We should be together forever.” you said out of the blue.

“Define forever” I said coldly.

“Well… Forever is a long time, despite we’re being alive or not, we never leave. We stay.” you defined your “forever” to me.

“Do you really think you can do it?” I still doubt you.

“I…. I am trying my best” you said with a slight of doubt in your voice.

“I don’t need your forever. Just stay with me. Whenever it gets worse, stay. Whenever it gets harder, stay. Don’t ever let me be with myself alone. Don’t ever let my mind consume me. Because… it’s the scariest place ever. So, can you do that?” I asked you.

“I’ll never leave you alone. I will stay” you said, this time, without a doubt.

“Even if I asked  you to leave, will you keep staying?” I still asked you, make sure I am not making a mistake.

“Of course. I promise you, I will never leave you alone” you, with full of confidence, said it and look in my eyes deeply.

“But.. what if I move away? What if we should be apart? Can you still do that?” I give you more questions, to fulfill my satisfaction of your answer.

“…………………..” you didn’t give me an answer. You look away, to the lake in front of us. I smile sadly, I’ve known it. I shouldn’t get my hope high.

“Then… will you marry me?” you suddenly asked me. This time, I am  the one who was shocked.

“Will you marry me so that we will never ever be apart? I might have nothing right now, but I will try my best. I don’t plan my future without you, to be honest. I know I should do it more romantically  and with a huge diamond ring, and on my knees. But you didn’t give me much choice. Me, lying here beside you, enjoying the life we had….” you continued your words. I still in shocked. I couldn’t say anything.

“Look, how many times I should convince you that I will never leave you alone? I really mean it. I know you still don’t believe me, but give me some more time to prove my words. I will make you the happiest woman ever” you try to convince me. Your dark brown eyes captured me.

“That was…. the most beautiful words ever” I whisper. I stop my words. My eyes are getting hot and hot. I know there will be tears. But I don’t expect this soon. I try to compile my words, but I can’t think of anything. I always be a “hard to get” girl, just to make my heart won’t break easily. I never ever put trust on someone I knew. I always doubt everyone. I am insecure, and still, you try to convince me that you really love me. My tears are flowing. You quickly hug me, to make me feel at ease. The warmness from you is transferring to my body. I feel safe. I feel needed. I feel loved.

“Yes.. I will” I whisper my continuation of the words in your ear. Your dark brown eyes emit the light. You smile and hug me again. “I will never ever leave you alone” you said.

The wind blow softly between my hair. The clouds are still moving. The sky is getting reddish, because the sun is on the way back. And you besides me. I put my head on your shoulder. The pain will heal, I thought.

-A-

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