October 28 1962 – October 28 2012

There is this woman that I feared the most. This woman only accept A, perfectionist, very discipline, hard worker (she works from 7 am to 4 pm, then had a practice at 6.30 pm until 9 pm, only to make our live better thanks to that irresponsible man 😐 ), full of confidence, high pride, and scary. But, this woman has a loving side too, she’s funny, kind, and beautiful. Sure we may have out misunderstandings  but she is still my mother. The woman that brought me to this world. And seeing her smile is the most amazing thing ever. This day, she turns 50. She’s getting old, and I still can’t make her truly happy. What a big failure I am.

Maybe one day I’ll be like you, mom. Walk with the confidence of an empowering woman with the strength like no other. To be able to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders yet walk with humility, hand in hand is a vision I could only dream of. Brush my falling tears to the side to bring smiles to all others. I pray to God that for every life I am to live that I be blessed with a mother like you. Happy Birthday Mother. I love you so much and try so hard to win your heart and smile. But regardless even though we annoy the fuck out of each other all the time, just always remember that I’ll always love you. And thank you so much for everything. Thank you for working so hard. Thank you for just being you. Thank you for everything. For almost 23 long years, you’ve taken care of me, taught me, helped me. At times, I was ungrateful. Other times, I felt more appreciative of you than I had of anyone else in the world. You’ve had many names in my life, such as bitch, old woman, care – taker, the most amazing person in the world. But there’s one I’m proudest to call you, Mom. We’ve had some rough times, but we pushed through, and we’ll continue to push through. I hope I never lose sight of all you’ve done for me again.You deserve all the best in the world.  And I will give my best to graduate because I know it’s the only gift you’ve always wanted for your birthday. I promise I will make you one day, proud of me, having this failure kid of your own.

Happy Birthday, my magnificent mother ❤

(she wouldn’t be able to read this, because I didn’t give it to her. Although every year I always wrote a birthday note to her with English. Because I know, if I wrote it in Indonesian, I would be brought into tears and couldn’t finish the notes. And also, it describes better with English than Indonesian. She used to asked my little sister to translate them, but since now she’s with me here, she got no one to turn to. And besides, I still didn’t talk to her long time, I am afraid of her, so, I just texted her a simple text message. Sorry mother)



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