“Long distance relationships are almost impossible to maintain. Because both people are rarely getting what they need, especially at our age. You know I will always love you the most.” – Santana Lopez (Glee Season 4)
When my boyfriend accepted a job on the other city, I thought managing a newly long-distance relationship would be just that— manageable. There’s literally an app for that. Between FaceTime and Skype, you can practically be in two places at once. Besides, I thought, absence doesn’t just make the heart grows fonder. But then reality set in. We were suddenly thousands of frequent-flier miles apart, shuttling back and forth for birthdays and conjugal visits but mostly just communicating digitally. I tried to have a good attitude about the whole thing—at first. Calling is now cheaper than it’s ever been. It helps that texting is free, too, thanks to WhatsApp, which works anywhere you have a Wi-Fi connection, even internationally. And then there’s that old-fangled standby, Skype. But still, I, with most of respect I have, adore the people who have been doing long distance relationship for so long. And I know, it is scary as hell.
First of all, long distance isn’t a choice, it’s something you wait out until you can be with your significant other. I guarantee it if you ask any of us who are actually in an LDR, we would all say wholeheartedly that we absolutely would prefer to close the distance and have our significant other nearby. Is the community as a whole not going on about that every minute of every day? Secondly, long-distance requires a massive emotional commitment. You can’t just turn it on and off whenever it may strike your fancy. No. You have to really be willing to deal with everything that comes with it: the good, the bad, and the ugly. For though you may think long-distance is cute and romantic, the harsh reality is that they suck. It really is one of the most painful things you will ever go through. Imagine a blunt rusty nail. Now imagine the Atlantic Ocean slowly driving that blunt rusty nail through your innermost core while your significant other looks on helplessly just out of arm’s reach. It’s not enough to kill you, but it’s the most effective torture device ever invented, enough to drive you mad. The nail is driven, removed, and re-driven incessantly. It can be soothed by the other, yes, but not indefinitely. And this is one of the things that make LDR look bad. One of the common negative comments posed towards LDR is that we were just desperate or deliberately looking for someone. No, we happened to meet someone amazing by chance, yes, even if over the Internet, and fell for them just as if it had happened in person and then decided that waiting for them would be worth the risk. We do it because a sincere love forms, not the desire for a fling or a label. An LDR is not easy, and it’s not always sweet and fluffy. So stop and think about what you’re asking for and if you’re really up for the full commitment.
So, to those who says being in long distance relationship is cute, screw you. I’d rather be with him than apart with him. But, there are no other choices right? We should keep going, as much as I always fear that one day we get tired, but we have to try. That’s why I hold it so long, right? Remember the reasons why you hold it so long 🙂 And to those who gave up before you tried, screw you. Clearly you’re not worth it.