October Challenge : 17th, Confession

Day 17 in October. The rain is falling, and I still waiting~

A confession is a statement made by a person acknowledging some personal fact that the person would prefer to keep hidden. Like, yesterday, I just confessed to two of my friends about things I’ve kept secret for so long. I do feel at ease, because I was writing the mail with tons of tears. I feel relieved. But then again, I am afraid to read their replies. I kept thinking, was that even right? I told them everything, like, everysinglething. I trembled a bit when I was opening one of their mails. Then I smile, I smile, smile, smile, then burst into tears. You see, I couldn’t keep my tears lock on. It always flows, whenever I feel afraid, or sad, or even romantic. That’s why, it’s much better to write than to tell by person. I am afraid that I couldn’t control my tears. Thank you, you two (if you’re reading this), thanks. I’ve forgotten how to be a good friend, possibly from the bad examples of ‘friends’ I’ve had, or possibly because i’m afraid of actually letting another person leave me. But thanks to the two of you, for just, making me give some of my weight to you 😀 haha. Sorry, I kept this all this long. Sorry for t=never really trust you. Sorry….

“I do a lot of pushing people away from my life. I wish I would just stop doing that cause at the end of the day, there’s always this emptiness in my chest eating away my whole being and I feel stupid wondering why, when I know exactly why.”

I’ve come to realize that the only thing more annoying than when every little thing someone you dislike does irritates you to no end, is that when you complain about said person. Which I’ve been doing, quite a lot lately. To say this is a flaw of mine would be an understatement, yet I can’t seem to let it go. I’m not even really sure where to start. All I know is that I need to let go of this grudge, or at least stop complaining about it.

I am not perfect.. but I’m me.. and I am starting to be okay with that.

I’m so alone even in my own skin
I want to go home
I just don’t know where it is



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